my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
