Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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