i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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