I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
