hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
God I need to hump something, right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
