he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
