what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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