In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
