some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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