I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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