I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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