you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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