CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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