ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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