capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
