do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
