I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
