Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
