none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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