just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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