scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
