Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize