your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize