She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
