I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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