Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
