everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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