Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
