I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
