I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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