Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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