I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
