we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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