The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
