Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
