I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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