Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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