If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
