Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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