that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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