I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize