Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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