Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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