were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize