I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
