Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
