she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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