Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
love makes seman taste better
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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