hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
