Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
