If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
