does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
