just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
