I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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