Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I need a burrito and a hug.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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