I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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