I forgot how hot balto sounded
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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