Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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