My first STD was from a foam party
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
