made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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