We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
