"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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