What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
