Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize