I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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