I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
