i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
third nipple confirmed
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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