i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
