the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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