If you die in college, do you die in real life?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
