he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
