"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
