Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
