i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
