Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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