He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
