It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize