Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You made out with two different species that night
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
