You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
