Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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