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• (805): View more from California

  I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head

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• (914): View more from New York

  We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.

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