That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
